week 7 is here...

... and I have no picture to show for it. Sorry. This past weekend was a long weekend, and I was just feeling like crap so much that I hardly showered or got out of my PJs, so I apologize for no picture this week.

All in all, I've just had no motivation, but by today, it's been getting better. I'm only getting up once at night now, rather than 2-3 times, and the nausea in the morning isn't as bad as it was a week ago. Either that, or I'm just getting so used to it by this point that it's like nothing to me now.

I haven't been very social lately, and I feel like that's no one's fault by my own. Unfortunately, a part of me just doesn't care right now. I'm tired, I don't feel well, and the last thing I want are people asking me what's wrong and having to just lie. So I figure, keeping on the DL might not be such a bad idea for a bit.

Granted, we have a party on Saturday with a bunch of my college friends, two of which are already pregnant, so we'll see how long we can keep the facade up.

Sadly, I already feel it's crumbling, especially since there are some former acquiantances who can't seem to keep their nose(s) out of my personal business. I'm sorry, but who the hell goes out of their way to stalk me on TheBump forums, and then runs their mouthes about what they find? Just because I chose to allow individuals on my forums know my news doesn't mean it's now your news to talk about. It's like, seriously... be envious, be jealous, be curious - WTFever - just stay off my ass and out of my life. For real.

Anyway, my rescheduled CNM call is tonight, which reminds me, I have a checklist I wanted to print off of TheBump with a list of questions I should ask... and then the first appt/ultrasound is Monday, so things are getting somewhat exciting.

PS - I'm currently down to 1 pair of jeans, and 3 pairs of work pants. Methinks a BellaBand is going to be in order sooner than later.

week 6 and some days

a little late, but the picture is from the 6w0d mark. That's nothing but a food baby right there.

I know, I've been very lax about posting lately, but honestly, I'm just so damn tired.... ugh.... fatigue meshed with feeling like I want to throw up all the time just isn't fun whatsoever.

Chris asked me the other day what m/s felt like. I told him it was like a really, really bad hangover where you just had the dreaded feeling like you were going to throw up, only once you do, it doesn't make anything feel better... in fact, it makes you feel worse.

I have learned, though, that if I nap when I get home from work, it screws up my overnight sleep. Not saying I won't still go to bed at 10pm, but that sleep is usually broken the nights when I nap.

And can we talk about constipation for a minute? No? Ok then, I won't go there.

Also - food aversions. Pizza is not the bane of my existence. We had it two nights in a row now, and I swear if I have it again anytime soon I'm just going to punt it out a car window. Seriously. Just the thought about it right now is enough to make me gag.

Also, because of the craptastic non-storm yesterday, I missed out on my call with the CNM... this makes me a little sad because I can't wait to actually talk to someone about all of this, and with our first appt/us not until a week from Monday, it just feels like time is dragging! Luckily, I was able to reschedule the call for next Wednesday, since that seems to be the only day they make these telephone appointments.

Yoga has also been canceled these last few weeks. Yay because I'm too tired to go, boo because now I really have to find another excuse to get my fatass out of the house and active.

Family has been funny. Both my mother and MIL have been asking constantly how I'm doing, how I'm feeling, etc. It's sweet. Really. I just know it's going to start annoying me really fast if that's all I hear as soon as they see me.

Also, we got a congratulations on makin' a baby card from my grandmother:

She's so cute.

We did it!

We finally gathered up enough courage(?) to tell our families today!

I spent a good portion of the morning running around the South Shore trying to find something grandparents-like to give them the hint, and we finally decided that this was going to be the best way to do it:

We went to my parents' house first, and it seriously took my mother a few minutes to realize what kind of frame it was. Then there was a "OH!!!" and lots of hugs. The same thing happened at Chris' parents' house, only over there his mother actually cried, which in turn made me cry... the first time! Overall, the reception was one of much excitement, which couldn't make us happier!

It's also a huge weight off of my shoulders because now I don't feel like I'm lying to everyone as much... telling work is going to be the next hurdle, but I'll worry about that close to 2nd tri.

I also purchased my first item of maternity clothing today:

It's a mid-season maternity wrap-around fleece jacket, and seeing that I'm going to be pregnant both during spring and fall, it couldn't work out more perfect! And it was on sale at Old Navy, $29.95 down to $20. Must have, for sure... Old Navy having its Maternity section in store now definitely has its advantages!

enough is enough...

I can't handle this lying anymore!

Yesterday I have to blatantly lie to my sister, and I HATE lying. She was feeling a little under-the-weather (we work together), so she saw me drinking my tea and asked where I got it, and if I had any more, because it would be perfect for her sore throat. I was caught dead in my tracks... of course, I have a whole box full of DECAF tea in my drawer here at work, but if I handed my sister a decaf teabag, she would know something was up. What?? MB is drinking decaf? WTF?! So I had to tell her that it was my last teabag, and I felt so guilty for the rest of the day...

I know it's just a little white lie for the greater good, but I just don't know how much longer I can do this. And I've clearly been avoiding my parents because there's NO WAY I could get away lying to my mother like that....

We're still debating when to tell our parents. I think it should be this weekend, just to get it over with... Chris things we should wait until we have the u/s pictures so we can show people something to make it less "weird." He's so concerned with it being all random and awkward telling our parents, but it really doesn't need to be.... once we get it out in the open it will be better, I know it... now I just want to do it!

I mean, I can still run to The Paper Store and pick up grandparents V-Day cards and give it to them as an early Valentine's Day present.... it won't be so easy to do that after Valentine's Day...

We'll just have to see what the weekend brings...

the world is officially ending...

Coffee no longer tastes right.

UGH!

5 weeks

I wish I could say that's all baby bloat and a forming belly, but unfortunately, it's not. It's just me and my pudge. *le sigh* Yet another reason I need to make sure I stay active and get my ass to the gym... I know I have to gain weight, but I'd rather it not be on top of the "over" weight I already have.

I also experienced my first bought of morning sickness yesterday am. It was about 8am, and I was just lying in bed and not yet ready to get up, and all of a sudden I just felt so miserable and sick to my stomach. I didn't throw up, mainly because I had a house full of guests and the last thing I wanted them to do is ask me what was wrong, but I did throw a handful of Cheerios in my mouth, and that helped to get something in my stomach. I was all right the rest of the day, just so long as I was eating something.

So I had a bunch of my girlfriends from college over yesterday, and 2 of them are expecting... it was so difficult not allowing myself to participate in their conversations... of course, everyone constantly telling me that I was going to be next, etc. really wasn't making anything easier.

Really, keeping this all in has been the hardest thing ever. I don't like lying, I don't like bending the truth, I don't like feeling deceitful... and that's all of this wrapped into one! Just 3 more weeks, I have to keep telling myself.... just 3 more weeks.