5 weeks

I wish I could say that's all baby bloat and a forming belly, but unfortunately, it's not. It's just me and my pudge. *le sigh* Yet another reason I need to make sure I stay active and get my ass to the gym... I know I have to gain weight, but I'd rather it not be on top of the "over" weight I already have.

I also experienced my first bought of morning sickness yesterday am. It was about 8am, and I was just lying in bed and not yet ready to get up, and all of a sudden I just felt so miserable and sick to my stomach. I didn't throw up, mainly because I had a house full of guests and the last thing I wanted them to do is ask me what was wrong, but I did throw a handful of Cheerios in my mouth, and that helped to get something in my stomach. I was all right the rest of the day, just so long as I was eating something.

So I had a bunch of my girlfriends from college over yesterday, and 2 of them are expecting... it was so difficult not allowing myself to participate in their conversations... of course, everyone constantly telling me that I was going to be next, etc. really wasn't making anything easier.

Really, keeping this all in has been the hardest thing ever. I don't like lying, I don't like bending the truth, I don't like feeling deceitful... and that's all of this wrapped into one! Just 3 more weeks, I have to keep telling myself.... just 3 more weeks.