Ferberizing

As of today, I believe it's been a week of trying Dr. Ferber's technique for sleep training, and I'm going to be the first to admit that, as much as it sucks allowing your baby to cry it out, it works. And it works well.

By definition, "Ferberization is a technique invented by Dr. Richard Ferber to solve infant sleep problems. It involves "baby-training" children to self-soothe by allowing the child to cry for a predetermined amount of time before receiving external comfort."

Before, bedtime always seemed like a battle. There would be crying, there would be screaming, there would be fussing, and some nights it took us over an hour to get her to finally fall asleep, and most of the time it was by being rocked to sleep in our arms.

Now, things are a little more systematic. We're incorporating more of a routine, and I think that's helping as well. We come home, Sami gets her solids, she gets a diaper changed and gets put into pajamas, and then I either try to breastfeed her, or she gets a bottle, or both depending on how hungry she is, and then we put her in her crib, kiss her good night, tell her we love her, and shut the door.

This, inevitably, leads to crying. But then again, that's the point.

Running in as soon as she weeps lets her know that hey, if I make noise, someone will come to my attention! And that's not good. Instead, by using 5-10-15 minute intervals between fits, she starts to learn how to self-soothe rather than us trying to put her to sleep, and in the end, that's what Ferberizing is all about.

The first night was rough, and I think it took about 45 minutes start to finish before she finally put herself to sleep. The next night, 30 minutes, and 20 after that. Every night was getting better and better, and now she'll fall asleep anywhere between 5 to 15 minutes after putting her in her crib. And now, she's sleeping through the night. She might wake up once around 4-5am, depending on when she ate late, but one of us will go in, give her back her pacifier, roll her back onto her back if need be, and by the time we're out the door, she's back asleep.

She's sleeping better through the day now, too. Before she was a baby who would maybe get an hour of naps in a day, now she's napping 45 minutes up to 2 hours 3 times a day. Like I say, a napping baby is a happy baby!

But yes, we still give her her pacifier, and she has a blanket bear that she cuddles, and so long as those little things give her comfort through all of this, I'm not going to try to take them away from her.

I'm not going to lie, though... I hate it. It's like torture, knowing that your baby is crying and you can't go in there to make her feel better. But in the end I know it's for her own good, so that's why when it's bedtime, I give her her kiss good night, then I go downstairs and distract myself with TV at a higher volume so I can drown out her discomfort. I give Chris credit - he's the handler of the incremental soothings (which is better, especially since I'm still connected to food) and he's definitely got this under control.

People may think we're cruel. People may think we're crazy. But you know what? When my baby can put herself to sleep on her own without having to climb into Mommy and Daddy's bed later on, you might think differently.